My Experience with EFT and Abraham’s Emotional Scale

The History

In my post EFT and the Emotional Scale, I said I would give a personal example on how I made Abraham’s Emotional Scale and EFT work for me, so here it is

It is a little complex, but, then again, aren’t all issues that seem to follow us around through the years? My mom and I had what amounted to a 3rd World War type of relationship for a good part of my life. Through the years, I came to realize that I did best when she was many states away (or even in a different country at one point) with very little contact. I could go merrily on my way, seemingly leaving the past where it belonged, in the past.

My life was bee bopping along nicely until my life took a bit of a tailspin. Depression hit my household in a big hard way and threw life, as I liked it and was accustomed to, totally off course. I found “mother issues” creeping out of the past and really messing around with me. The issues my husband and I were having mirrored the way I felt when I was growing up with my Mother. So instead of dealing with the immediate issue at hand, my husband’s depression, I was dealing with the rejection issues I had with my mom at the same time. The emotional meltdowns I was having, on and off, were for how I was feeling in the present, superimposed with how I felt when I was growing up. Pretty intense. These were “let me sit in a dark room and sob and sob” meltdowns. In the middle of the meltdowns, I would get really mad because I knew I was paddling upstream but didn’t know how to work through the issues in a fashion that get me to a better feeling place.

I knew about EFT and had just started “getting” the Emotional Scale. I had a feeling that the two could be used together to help me out. In the middle of one of the milder meltdowns, I decided to tackle my monster in the bushes. I figured if I could get at the childhood programming issues, and move those vibrations to a better place, my current situation would be a bit easier to deal with.

EFT and the Emotional Scale - The Process

The next time I had an intense interaction with my husband, I wiped away my tears and found a quiet place, and started tapping.

I had the Emotional Scale in mind as I worked through my issue.

At the time, my SUDS level (my perceived discomfort level) was probably a nine or ten. The way I did the EFT was a bit different than what is conventionally done. I took the emotional setpoint from the emotional scale and did a full round of tapping based on that emotion. I skipped the “I love and accept myself totally”.

Anger

I was really mad that my mom couldn’t / wouldn’t give me what I needed and deserved. Some of the phrases I tapped on were (minus the swear words that came out at the time ):

- Even though my mom really didn’t want me, I deserve to be wanted dammit!
- If she didn’t want me, she shouldn’t have #!$?#@ adopted me.
- I hate her for how she made me feel!

I then moved on up to blame because that was a logical progression and the angry stuff just didn’t feel right anymore.

Blame

- If she had tried harder, things would have been so much better!
- It’s all her fault that I was so screwed up for so long.

After that group, I was able to jump up the scale a bit to disappointment.

Disappointment

- I am really sad that things did not work out better.
- I wish we could have had a better relationship.

At this point, my vibration surrounding the issue had dramatically changed. I felt a lot calmer about everything that had happened in the past and what was happening in my present.

I went on and reached for another step up the scale. Boredom, Pessimism, Frustration/Irritation/Impatience and Overwhelment felt like a backwards step from where I had moved to so the next emotion I tapped on was Contentment.

Contentment

- You know, I am doing pretty well right now. Life is good most of the time.
- I am happy that Mom and I trade emails every once in a while.
- I am where I am, and that’s okay.

At that point, I stopped tapping because my discomfort over it all had gone WAY down.

The Wonderful Outcome

In the weeks that followed this tapping session, I found that I was looking at my husband’s depression in a different way. Our interactions seemed to be more OUR interactions instead of adding my mom into the mix. Definitely an improvement.

The big proof that things were different vibrationally around the issue of my mom occurred when I want shopping for the DREADED Mother’s Day Card. Every year, I spent an awful time in the card shop trying to find a card that wasn’t, what I considered to be, a blatant lie. As I would read though the sentiments, they would inevitably leave me on the verge of tears for what my mom and I *didn’t* have in the way of a relationship. It was my yearly stroll down the lane of where I really didn’t want to go.

This year was different though. I was able to look through the cards and, not a one, upset me at all. It was weird because I acknowledged that the card wasn’t a good one, but the negativity I had always had in the past that would leave me on the verge of tears, wasn’t there. It was a very surreal feeling to me. I found not one but three cards that I could send to her. She did the best she could, and so did I. It was time to let go of the past hurts, and, I’m telling ya, it felt damn good!