Parental Meltdown

Okay, so, I’m not perfect. I try REALLY had to stay up to speed with my stream, but, man, yesterday was a HUGE challenge for me.

I was trying to get out of the house to go to my meetup group. The day before, I had finally decided on what I was going to talk about – Contrast and how the contrast helps you focus on what you do want. Boy did I get a HUGE dose of it right before the event which actually gave me a fresh personal story to illustrate with.

The kids had been aggrevating me (read: I decided to paddle upstream over lots of little issues) and they were beating on each other and being overall yucky to be around. Husband is already super stressed and depressed and I sort of felt guilty about leaving him with, which added to my aggrevation as well. I went out to the car to leave and then had to come back in to get something I had forgotten and the kids who where quite when I left and, in the matter of a minute, had clashed and where screaming.

I blew my stack. I stood at the bottom of the stairs and screamed out in my frustration. REALLY screamed out, so much so, that my throat hurt for the rest of the afternoon. I stomped out of the house, slammed the door and then the car door and promptly dissolved into angry tears.

All I wanted them (kids and husband) to do is be well behaved and understand that I had a right to do what *I* wanted to do instead of what THEY thought I should be doing. What added fuel to it all was that I KNEW that what I was doing was some pretty fast and furious paddling upstream, but I felt like I couldn’t NOT feel the way I was feeling.

I tried to work my way up the emotional scale in regards to what I was feeling, but I found that thinking about something else was actually a better option at the time. I decided to listen to Abraham and boy, how wonderful that was. As usual when I am feeling upstream, I can always find words of wisdom through Abraham.

From CD 4/30/07 – Seattle WA – CD 4 – Track – “Should she soothe her daughter regarding dying pet?”

When you say to your child, and we’re not saying that you say this, just as a blantant example, when you say to your child “when you do that, I feel bad and I wish you wouldn’t do it, but when you do that, I feel good, and this is the behavior I want from you.”

As the child takes that to heart, what begins to happen to them early on, is that begins to matter to them how you respond to them more than how *they* close their own gap. And this is why so many of you end up in gatherings like this later on. Because youve been coaxed away from your own… that’s what we meant earlier when we say when your’re going from Phoenix to San Diego, your journey is easy to understand. But when you’re going from sickness to wellness, it’s not so easy because you’ve trained yourself OUT of knowing that good feels good.

From CD 4/30/07 – Seattle WA – CD 4 – Track – “Should she soothe her daughter regarding dying pet?”

So, when you well meaning parent or mentor that you are, say to your child, to anyone, “listen to what *I* say and take your guidance from me and when you see approval from me, you’re on track and when you see disapproval from me, you’re off track”, you train their own guidance system out of them and then you gotta be there every where they are. They’ve gotta look to you or someone. That’s why it’s so annoying to parents. They train their children away from their own guidance system and then they wonder why they are willing to give over to their peer group. Or why they’re willing to give over to this or to this or to this. And it’s because they’ve learned that approval from others has certain short term payoffs that they go for, where we’re wanting you to go for the long term payoff.

So, as a parent, or a mentor, or anyone who is wanting who is wanting to assist anyone in a beneficial life or experience, you want to live as an example of someone who knows that you are an expanding being. And that knows that life is going to cause you to become more, it can’t not. And someone who knows by the way they feel whether they are closing that gap or widening that gap, who is demonstrating, right before their eyes, alignment.

Imagine the benefit to a child to have a mother up close wants to feel good and sometimes doesn’t but knows what to do when she doesn’t feel good.

Imagine having a mother who knows that she has expanded and is striving to come into alignment with that expansion.

Imagine having a mother who is looking for the positive aspects, not the negative, who’s reaching for thought that feel good, demonstrating, in real terms, alignment.

That’s the best mentoring that you can do. Let yourself remember always that the best parenting that you can do is remembering that your child has guidance within, and demonstrating through your own example what lining up with who you are is.

In other words, demonstrate that you’re seeing the world through the eyes of source.

Your children remember it. They’re not that far from it. Your daughter showed that to you today “Don’t worry about this. It’s all okay”, she says to you. She’s turning downstream. She’s a soother and that’s what we are talking about. Soothing, soothing, soothing, soothing, soothing, soothing, soothing. But soothing by using the power of your mind not by demanding that conditions change.

Okay, so that really helped me get in a better place about it all. It is still something I struggle with, but I believe I am getting better through it all. It is not them that need to change to make me feel better. *I* need to feel better no matter what the conditions are. I also need to do more focusing on what the contrast is causing me to expand to, instead of getting caught up with the what currently is. Focus, focus, focus. Allow, allow, allow. Sometimes it is easier said than done, but I am getting there. Slowly but surely