Oh, The Joys of Post Manifestational Awareness

And you know what, I did that. I created this manifestation of my vibration. I didn’t understand why, “out of the blue”, I got this wickedly bad head cold. I never get sick, unless I have been paddling ferociously upstream about something. I haven’t been doing that, have I?

Actually, I guess I have been, unintentionally. Well, duh, really, why should I be surprised? I have spent the last three weeks working with Martha to get control of my core issues that are affecting my ability to deal with my current situations in a better way. I have been dredging up painful emotions that are not serving me, and not only dredging them up, but rehashing them. Yeah, I guess that would be considered paddling upstream. It didn’t feel good back then and doesn’t feel good now either. I am dredging them up and hopefully tapping them away with EFT.

Abraham-Hicks

It is very liberating to discover the guidance that comes forth from within, and, in fact, it is essential to learning to mold Energy, because you have to find some standard of measurement. “If you’ve got negative emotion and you don’t know what it means and you don’t release it, don’t worry, it will get bigger. And if you still don’t recognize it, so by Law of Attraction, you continue to hold it to you, don’t worry, it will get bigger…” And so, if you have things that are manifesting in a way that does not please you, all it means is that you have a habit of vibration that somehow matches that.

Really, I am working on releasing these negative emotions and I am working on moving them to a different place. It is sort of like being a detective for me because a lot of these things, that are deep down, have been buried for so long that I kind of forgot they were there. I don’t see them for what they are because I have had them so long that they are ingrained in my actions and reactions. It is sort of like a well rehearsed script that is so comfortable, yet so dysfunctional. I am tired of being in an automatic dysfunctional rut. Blech. Learning to feel again is a tough thing. Learning to feel worthy is just as tough.

I have seen, first hand, in the last two days or so how well law of attraction really does work. As I dredge up all these feelings, I am attracting things to me that match the feelings that I have uncovered and felt and examined. It’s good though, because even though I am having the automatic reactions to my now circumstances, I am finding an instant recognition of what is going on. That is the first step in moving beyond the automatic programming. I’m lucky because my husband is working hard to get to where he needs to be and is willing to work with me as I work through my issues at the same time. We have issues, but we sit down and examine what happened afterwards. We are working on reprogramming ourselves on an individual basis and as a couple.

The time has come for me to stop being the victim. It was a comfortable, well performed, role for a long time, but now, I choose to claim my power. I have control of my life and how it turns out. No one else. I choose to take full responsibility for how things are going and to stop blaming others for how I am choosing to feel! I choose to feel good. I choose to feel worthy. I choose to feel loved no matter what. Some strong choices, for a stronger, happier, new me.

Life is about the journey. There will be ups and downs. It is how you choose to react to the ups and downs that makes all the difference. I choose to revel in the contrast that I experience because the contrast tells you so much about where you are and which way you need to turn.