It is ALL about ME!

Life, as of late, has been very interesting and I have learned a lot about who I really am through the contrast. It sounds funny to say that I appreciate the contrast but I really do. Each time something monumental happens in the contrast arena, I take a huge leap in understanding how the world works. Law of attraction is as real as the Law of Gravity. I, finally, fully understand this. I had the hardest time accepting the fact that I had this immense power to affect change in my life.

I still believe that a lot of my vibrational discord is coming from my childhood programming. Abraham, in the latest workshops, acknowledges that many of the hard, fast, albeit totally wrong, upstream beliefs, we have are rooted in the past. They make it sound so easy, “just change the way you are feeling”. Is it as easy as that? Maybe but sometimes those past beliefs have a way of worming their way into the now almost invisibly but the feeling reaction is the same. Instead of dealing with the issue at hand for what it is, there can be a past programming cloak thrown over it all.

I have been working with Martha for about a month and have seen some dramatic changes. It is funny how EFT works for me. Most of the tapping has been done on my childhood issues but things that have changed in my now are seemingly unrelated. My emotional eating has all but disappeared and I have lost about 8 pounds without any effort. In one of the recent Abraham CDs, there is a woman who couldn’t lose her last 40 pounds. Abraham asked her how does that feel emotionally and then helped her find that she felt like she had to carry the responsibility for everything around her as if her taking on all that emotional baggage would make a difference in other’s lives. I heard that and perhaps found the solution to the extra pounds that I carry around with me and have since I was a child. I have, all my life, tried to mold my behaviors to affect a change in my environment, in hopes of making everyone around me happy in order to get what I needed at the time. LOL, it never really did work, but I persisted and I added the weight of everyone’s issues to my own. With the help of EFT, I have recognized the need to control and guide everything around me (very ineffectually at that!) and realize that I AM VALID and what I need and feel and think IS IMPORTANT. BUT (and that is a big BUT), the only one who can make me feel good is me and I have stopped putting everyone else’s needs first and focused in on what I need. Me first and then everyone else. That is a major change in how I have run my life.

EFT has been incredibly useful for me, but that digging up the past only served to stir up my present. It was WAY too emotional and due to the consistent focusing on those discordant feelings, I manifested quite a bit in my now that I really didn’t want. The Law of Attraction at work. You get what you focus on, whether you like it or not.

I have started working with Martha using Neurofeedback now. I have had only one session, but it appears to have made me feel more centered and calm when presented with potentially freak out inducing situations. It could be a carry over from the EFT but more sessions will tell if the Neurofeedback is working for me.

Computer Geek Warning

After I had my first session with Martha, we were sitting and talking about what I hoped to accomplish with Neurofeedback. I had to think about it a little while she was trying to get out of a program on her computer that had hung up her whole system.

I told her that I really wanted to have control of these things from my past that kept, seemingly taking control, of my now life. I didn’t want to forget about my past. I wanted it to remember it all, but without all the upstream feelings and beliefs that I took away from them.

At this time, she was still wrestling with her computer and had to bring up the task manager in order to kill the program that had taken control.

At that point, I had a computer geek epiphany!

I wanted a task manager for my brain!

We all have our current, right now, programs that we voluntarily have running in our experience.

But then there are these processes going on in the background which can freeze up how we want our now running. Sometimes they are memory hogs which slow down the flow of our lives. Some of the processes are boulders in the river that cause us to get really caught up in the contrast.

In the moment, your first thought is to kill these flow stoppers. A task manager would allow for that, though upon a restful night’s sleep, you would find that the reboot would cause them to come back.

Ultimately, I don’t want to kill off the processes, but rather to lower their priority in how the whole system runs.

End Computer Geek Warning

Abraham really doesn’t recommend the deep discussion of the bad feelings from the past due to how the Law of Attraction works. I know, first hand, how this is. It sucks to have to deal with the after effects of digging up the very upstream feelings well beyond the therapy session! I asked Martha how Neurofeedback works in the task manager analogy and she said that it is like a computer optimizer and program debugger. Hmmm, that sounds good and I don’t have to even focus on the negative stuff to get it to work for me. I feel that I almost have it all working well, but there are program bugs that keep popping up. I’m going to go with the flow and see where the stream takes me!