On Forgiving and Forgetting

“We’re not asking them to reach the place of forgiveness. Because we’ve never seen anybody, in an effort to forgive, that didn’t just activate the whole mess all over again. Because you gotta focus on what you’re forgiving. You gotta to stir it all up again and bring yourself to the place of pain again. And from that place of pain, you can’t forgive. They are different ends of the vibrational spectrum, you see. So all that happens is – you stir it up, you get feeling awful, you reactivate all of the pain, and then you rebirth the hate mechanism – or the anger mechanism – because that was the path of least resistance to the pain – and the cycle never, ever stops. We don’t encourage forgiveness, we encourage forgetting.”

- Abraham-Hicks –

I did something that surprised many in my family, including myself, once I stopped and thought about it. I booked a flight, on impulse (or inspired action ) to go see my mom and my brother and his family, by myself (wahoooo!), for early in December. It will be a short Friday to Sunday trip, which is more than enough for me to test the waters to see how I fare. I haven’t really talked to my Mom or spent any time with her in the last four or so years and I have actually been okay with that. It was a conscious move I made in order to stop being part of the disfunction. I keep tabs on her through my brother, but for the most part, I have avoided talking with her.

I have done a lot of work on myself this past year. A LOT From where I am right now, I am not seeing anything that needs to be forgiven. The contrast that I experienced in our relationship helped me fill my vibrational escrow. The life I have now is in direct relationship to the rockets of desire I shot off then. I have an extremely blessed life and am grateful for where I have come from.

I see my mom in a different light now. Or perhaps I am viewing myself in a different light? Maybe a bit of both. I know I can go up there and have a good visit. The life my mom lives is all her own. I don’t need to “enlighten” her to help her get to a better place. I can be happy in the midst of unhappy vibes. I have full control over how I choose to feel and I choose to arrive happy and leave the same. It will be a good visit and I will walk away knowing that I have changed and that I have full control of how I chose to feel. The past is in the past. My choice it to make my NOW what I want it to be.