The Journey To Where I Came From

I wasn’t sure how my trip to see my mother would turn out. I was sure I had major growth over the years and though that our interactions would be different this time but wasn’t totally sure that I wasn’t just fooling myself.

I spent a lot of reminiscing about my past as I drove from the airport to where my mom lives. I passed so many places that had significance to me. Even the radio stations were cooperating and playing music that fit the “remembering” I was doing. People and places, from where I used to live, all held so many memories. The memories that used to hurt, didn’t hold the same kick as they used to. Time, distance and growth all serve to mellow the feelings created by past events. That “up close and personal” look at things in the heat of the moment can cause so much resentment and bitterness, but when you pull back and view it from a wider, more detached, angle, you can see the good of it all.

I used to view my past through the eyes of a bitter victim for the most part. But this trip, that view was radically different. I could look back with a feeling of appreciation for everything that my past had helped me become. This was a bit unsettling due to the fact that I was waiting for the ghosts of the past to jump out and join me as they used to do in the past, but they didn’t. It was also very empowering, as it showed me that I was truly where I thought I was. “You’ve come a long way, baby!” came to mind.

Everything about this trip turned out so well. The flights went without a hitch. It was odd because I usually HATE flying but this time, there was no sign of the nervousness that previously bothered me so. The drive was smooth, even with the snow that started falling on my way to Pennsylvania. While there were some things that started irritating me, I was able to turn it around. Abraham’s phrase, “Are you a complainer or a praiser?”, played through my mind and I was able to redirect my thoughts to a better, more positive, place and my whole experience benefited from it.

My family was, well, my family. There was drama galore, but happily, I didn’t get involved. They all knew I was there and I loved them all, no matter what was going on. I didn’t talk with them to any extent about what was negatively going on in their lives. It was a good visit. It was kind of cool. I was able to talk about The Secret and about EFT with my mom and she was actually interested in what it was all about. Now I know what to get her for Christmas.

My trip, while very short, was a success. I left filled with appreciation for so many people and situations I have experienced in my life. I have chosen to look at my life with rose colored glasses and have discovered that I really like it that way.

I used to allow my past to play a major role in my life, or totally lock it away so I just didn’t have to deal with the issues at all. Locking away the things I didn’t want to deal with worked well for the most part, but it is nice to be able to see that the past doesn’t control me as it used to. I am stronger and more connected now. I can see the past for what it was and appreciate it now. The bad feelings have, for the most part, gone away.

As someone recently said to me, it’s nice to be able to gently close the door of the past, leaving it unlocked, instead of slamming and bolting it as was previously the case. And I couldn’t agree more.