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Absolute Crap Day

January 28th, 2008

Ever have one of those days where you start out KNOWING you are facing the wrong direction but push that little snowball down that giant, snow covered, hill anyway?

Oh yeah, I had one of those Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day’s today. Knew it was coming but pushed that little snowball down that hill anyway until it became a HUGE, house crushing, avalanche.

I have to snicker because it was very much a smack across the forehead ala the V-8 commercials but instead of “you could’ve had a V-8″ it was a “I did that” series of occurrences that really made the day not very pleasant. I knew it in the middle of it all, but couldn’t call that snowball back. Instead, I kept up with the momentum of it all. Actually, it pretty much sucked. It sucked in the middle of it all and still sucks, for that matter.

Yeah, I know Clyde, this is actually making the situation continue on, but this is one that I can’t come to terms with on my own. I am having a very difficult time applying Abraham’s teaching to this situation. I have a full fledged attack of “what is”-itis.

The “what is” of the situation is that my have a husband who has PTSD which makes a normal, loving relationship, next to absolutely impossible. I want xyz, but he is not able to do what I need (and don’t feel is unrealistic). I have grown and changed through this relationship, as well, in a direction that he has not. Not a good combination of circumstances. I am tired of the “what is”-ness of it all and am having more than my normal share of meltdowns about it all.

What I want, with this specific person, is so hard to imagine at the moment. It seems so far out of reach. I can envision a relationship like what I want, but can’t see it with my husband. :sad: I want it with my husband so therein lies the problem. It appears to be a trial by fire of Abraham’s teachings. I know that if I could look at this differently, the outcome would be different. I just can’t find, at the moment, the way to view this that will give me the relief that I am looking for.

Can you create a situation, a relationship with a specific person, if the other person isn’t tapped in to it all? I want it to be so, but can’t see it happening so that is causing the contrast in my current situation. I know it “will all be okay in the end” but can I include him in my final edited verson of the movie of my life? :sad: I guess that is what is causing me the problems at this moment.

Time for another glass of wine or perhaps just bed. Hmm, guess Advil might be advisable as well.



   Posted in Abraham-Hicks, Abraham-Hicks Quotes, Life, Relationships    






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10 Responses to 'Absolute Crap Day'

  1. _Jon - January 29th, 2008 at 8:17 am

    I touched on the relationship aspects in my post in AbeList, so I won’t go into that here.

    But what I do want to touch upon is your second aspect - the ‘I shouldn’t talk about it because it is bad’ comment.

    There is a difference between ‘acknowledging’ something and ‘pushing against’ it. One of the items I read from AH is that it is ok to rant about something if it changes your attitude towards it. The quote was something to the effect that if at the end of the rant, you feel better about the situation, then it was the right thing for you to do in that situation.

    So don’t beat yourself up about writing about this. As long you end it with what you want - and not what you don’t want - then you have moved to a better place. And you’ll probably feel better.

  2. Lauri - January 29th, 2008 at 3:47 pm

    Are you familiar with EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique)(emofree.com)? They have made tremendous inroads with PTSD patients - TREMENDOUS - and fast! I watched the training videos myself and was overwhelmed. See also: http://www.emofree.com/articles.aspx?id=30

    That said, it sounds like you’re depending upon your spouse to “make you happy” - which, of course, is a trap. Here are some Abe quotes that speak to me on this:

    Abe: But if you were focused upon the great aspects of that person, so that you were activating the best of them, and the best of them was meeting the best of you, they would never want to leave. What makes people want to leave is your wanting to get it so right that you get fixated on the parts that aren’t good and then you activate the parts of them that you don’t like that they don’t like either. And then they find themselves just not feeling good about life when they’re with you, not because there is not the potential for it, but because you have highlighted something in them that they thought they’d left behind, or that they want to leave behind you see.

    The greatest gift - the ultimate relationship

    Do you know the relationship that you are all looking for? Do you know what it really is?

    You want the relationship between you and you. And when you meet a person who looks fondly at you, or who is appreciative of you, or someone you look fondly upon, or someone you appreciate, it just hooks you up to your Inner Being, which is what you want all along.

    So the relationship you are all looking for is the relationship between you and you. And everything else is just helpful in that, really.

    Don’t you find that interesting? That what you really want is a reason to vibrationally connect with who you really are.

    And so, you ask so much of people because you say to them, “You need to be the one who causes me to feel good.” And what we want to say to all of you is:

    If any of you are without the relationship of your dreams right now, that’s a wonderful thing. Because now you have an opportunity to work on the relationship that really matters first and foremost. And then, in that connection, the relationship of your dreams will come.

    But you are going to discover the relationship of your dreams is really your own Inner Being. It’s that infusion of clarity and confidence and wellness, that’s what you are reaching for.

    And it is nice to have a human friend who holds you as their object of attention and adores you right into your connection. But we want you to experience greater independence than that. We want you to say to you lovers, “I love you, but I don’t live for you. Because Source Energy flows through me. You are a catalyst to my well-being, but you are not essential to my well-being. Because I’ve got that figured out on my own. I have reached for thoughts that give me relief and I have relieved myself all the way into my full connection of who I really am. And now we can just dance and play together.”

    Can you feel how you take them off the hook? In other words, do you know how many men would flock to you…? (ALL OF THEM!) …if they knew that you would allow them to be as they are and you would not hold them responsible for your happiness.

    That’s what everyone wants. How much bondage is there in believing that your happiness depends on me, so I’ve got to figure out what you want, and stand on my head in all those different ways, and it’s not even possible!

    The greatest gift you can give anyone is to be happy. And we will take that further. The greatest gift you can give to any partner, past, present or future is to be so connected with who you truly are that they are irrelevant to your connection. And when they are irrelevant to your connection, then you are going to have a really good time together.

    San Diego 2/7/04B

    We’re all in this together…. Lauri

  3. gigablonde - January 31st, 2008 at 2:07 pm

    Oboy. Ojeez. Owow. Oshit.

    I myself am going through some relationship shit (um, do you mind if I curse on your blog? :roll: ) to the tune of what you were talking about here.

    Damn.

    See, I am not yet married. I adore this guy. He is the love of my life. Oh, by the way, I should mention … I have no idea what a PTSD is! That might matter, huh? :wink:

    The thing is … I’m very much into The Work … Abraham Hicks … that sort of thing … it’s really the way my world runs … it’s my heart, it’s my core … and he, I’ve come to find is the complete opposite.

    Did I mention I adore him?

    He doesn’t think you should treat people, including strangers, as you want to be treated. He doesn’t think people deserve respect simply because we are all human beings coexisting. He doesn’t think there is a guiding force and that everything is ok.

    I have been really exploring those murky little places between loving what is (”he is who he is and that’s ok, I love and accept him as he is”) …and… “if this is the case, then is this really the right person for me?” You know that scary foggy fine line?

    Right now, I am going with my “yes” … He’s asked me to stick with him through this and so I’m sticking. Leave it to me to ask a complete stranger to shed some light but that’s me! :wink:

    Hugs to you!
    Col

  4. Vickie - February 2nd, 2008 at 8:32 am

    Jon,

    Thanks so much for your comments. I agree, sometimes the rant is a way to move to a better place. Sometimes for me, though, it ends up making me sit in a place that I would rather not be. I’m getting there though :) It’s all about the journey!

    I haven’t been reading the list as much as I used to, would you mind pointing me in the direction of your post so I can go and read it?

    Thanks!
    Vickie

  5. Vickie - February 2nd, 2008 at 8:54 am

    Hi Lauri,

    I am well aware of EFT :grin: I love it and use it regularly (though not as much as I could). I know about the effectiveness of EFT on post traumatic stress disorder. I have actually sent that link to my husband and also found a psychiatrist in our area who does EFT and EMDR and other energy therapies. My husband isn’t ready to give that a go at the moment. :( It is hard for me to see him so resistant to something that could make a dramatic difference in his (and our) life. :lol: The emotions that brings up for me are definitely something to do some serious tapping on!

    Thanks for that quote. I have actually made another post here with that quote. I think it is a very valuable one. Intellectually, I know that it is as true as it gets, but emotionally, well, I am still working on integrating that in a way that 1) lets me be okay with the way things are, and 2) doesn’t make me upset because I am, at this time, not able to have the connection I need with myself. That self love thing can be a little tough to come by at times.

    Vickie

  6. Lauri - February 2nd, 2008 at 1:43 pm

    Vickie,

    Sounds like you’re on the right track! Before I knew of the teachings of Abraham, I had a very difficult time with relationships. Now I know how to guide my focus! Phew! And now I love the “wouldn’t it be great” game. Great way to create the future the way you’d like it to be.

    Love,
    Lauri

  7. Journey Toward Loving Yourself - Contemplate This - February 4th, 2008 at 9:24 pm

    [...] one of my recent posts, I received some very valuable feedback. Lauri supplied a wonderful quote from Abraham that really [...]

  8. Vickie - February 4th, 2008 at 9:34 pm

    Jon,

    Thanks for sharing that post with me. It actually revealed much to me that I wasn’t aware of in myself at the time. It was the impetus towards my changing my viewpoints on various parts of my life.

    Ahh, the journey has begun, in earnest, yet again!

  9. Vickie - February 4th, 2008 at 9:51 pm

    Hi Col!

    :lol: Cursing is okay by me as long as you aren’t cursing AT ME :mrgreen: I draw the line there!

    :lol: PTSD is Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. In my husband’s case, it kicked in to overdrive after we were married for 10 years. It pretty much sucks for all parties involved. You can read more about it at http://www.medicinenet.com/posttraumatic_stress_disorder/article.htm

    I hear ya on the adore part. Even though we are going through tough times, and he humors my Abraham influence, I adore him as well. I can’t imagine life without him.

    Abraham says that if you choose to stay, then line up with that choice. I am finding it hard to do so at times. The lining up with the decision part, that is, not the staying part. What I have going on a lot is fussing about how things are, instead of accepting it as it is. I try way to hard to get into his boat and steer him where I think he should be going. I am trying to get over that control issue! :lol:

    I know that foggy line all too well and it makes me sad
    to think of life without him. As Abraham says, if it feels good, it is. If it feels bad, it is. And nothing having him in my life feels bad so that shows me that I am not viewing the situation through the eyes of source.

    My husband has asked me to stick with him as well, and I have made the decision to do just that because it feels right to me. I love him and it sounds like you love your beau as well. Line up with the decision and things will be better. :lol: I would be extremely rich if I could tell everyone how to make that happen!

    Life is a journey and it is supposed to be fun. If it isn’t, then you need to change your perspective, not your circumstances :)

    Happy Journeying!

  10. gigablonde - February 27th, 2008 at 5:29 am

    I just found my way back here, Vickie, and thank you for answering me! Tonight I was on a really great call about Law of Attraction with Eva Gregory and she said so many things that really stuck with me … she had these colorful ways of saying it … like:

    “Get the rockets of desire going. Thoughts are the engine and emotions are the gas.”

    That’s one thing I haven’t really got a grasp of yet, the emotions. How the positive emotions you’re having about something is the charge. This piece is fresh for me and it needs to get incorporated into my being somehow (I don’t know how!!!)

    She also said this:

    “Get into your heart instead of your head … use your emotional guidance system. Lead with your heart (your feeling) and follow with your head.”

    … and it feels like your decision to “stick” is just that … because you said it feels right to you.

    Hugs,
    Col


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