Something Shifted

Elbows aren’t supposed to look like that!

I spent quite a bit of time in the past 5 months being the typical overly concerned parent. I knew I was getting into my daughter’s boat, but I couldn’t figure out how to get out of her boat and back into my own.

In October, Jen fell off the climber in our back yard and severely dislocated her elbow. I expended so much energy over that 5 months prodding, cajoling, and threatening her so she would do the exercises needed in order to get full motion back into her arm. It was always a battle. She was discouraged, angry and resentful about it all. The progress was very slow and she would look at the things she wanted to do (gymnastics) and see that she wasn’t anywhere near being able to go back. (Sorta like we all do at times, huh? ) We both had a pretty severe case of “what-is-itis”.

Shortly after she fell, I went to an Abraham Workshop in Asheville, NC and was able to discuss the issues directly with Abraham. This is about a 5 minute clip of, what turned out to be, an almost 30 minute conversation with Abraham.

Click arrow to listen to clip.

Abraham Hicks Workshop – 10/26/07 Asheville NC

Abraham:
So now let’s recap for your own understanding. So your…describe the incidents again, the first one.

Me:
The first one, my daughter was playing and she fell off the climber and dislocated her elbow and broke her elbow.

Abraham:
Alright, so now here’s the question that, if we were talking to her, we would her, but you are a very good stand in because you understand her. So now she has this manifestation, which is an indication of vibration. What do you think the emotion is? We know that she has discomfort, physical pain, and all of that but what is the emotion that she would describe now that that incident has happened?

Me:
She and I discussed this because I … It was one of those things where I’m like “I know what the cause is trying to explain… Frustration. She’s been frustrated.

Abraham:
So now that it’s happened, this is the thing we want you to hear. This is how you get value from manifestation. Now that this has happened, how do you feel? Frustrated because now she can’t do the things she is accustomed to doing. Frustrated because now her activity is limited. So now, frustrated because now because her activity is limited. Ringing any bells?

Me:
Yeah, it is.

Abraham:
So, so, so..

Me:
But she doesn’t, it’s funny, she doesn’t want me to point that out to her. I don’t know how to get her to come to that realization on herself. ‘Cause I have pointed that out. I tried to say, “Maybe you were feeling this way before. And she is very resistant to ME telling her or suggesting it.

Abraham:
That’s why we say, you gotta teach through the clarity of your own example because she won’t be resistant to the demonstrations that you offer.

Me:
This is a demonstration because I told her, before I left, “I guarantee you, I’m gettin’ in that chair again and that will be law of attraction at it’s best.” And I’m gonna go “Jen, I did it, I did it, and see I told you I was gonna do it” So she’s going to see that it can happen.

Abraham:
And what you want to emphasize is that once something has happened it is easier to expect it again. So it was actually very simple for you to sit here this time, you lighted up all over the place. In other words it gets..

Me:
Well, I’ll give you the honest truth, I was sitting there thinking “okay it’s ticking away. I can’t be thinking about the fact that I might not get called upon because then the vibration goes down.

Abraham:
Alight, that’s what you want to tell your daughter. That’s what you want to explain but through the clarity of your example, and the things that she is able to witness. You see, as a parent, or as a teacher, there is this tendency to say “I have to live the perfect life so that, because if I don’t life the perfect life, then I’m not practicing what I am preaching.” And we say it’s living a real life, in awareness of your guidance, is the best gift you could give to anyone. So when you feel ornery, stop in the middle of it and say, right out loud, “mmm I’m really feeling ornery” or what ever the feeling is and “how can I turn this around before I fall and break my arm? Or do I have to fall and break my arm, before I realize I was feeling ornery?” In other words, just be playful about it. Of course you have to be sensitive because no one ever likes you to point out that …

Me:
Say “you did that”.

Abraham:
Well, the last thing in the world that you want to do is get credit for the things that are going wrong in your life. And yet, there is an empowerment that comes with it because, when you realize you get the credit for what goes well and for what doesn’t go well, there’s such knowledge in that. And ultimately, so much more freedom, because as long as you believe that somebody else is responsible, then you are limited to their gaze and to their granting of your wishes.

In other words, there’s no way out of it, you just have to let you kids be the empowered beings that they are.

Fast forward to March 2008, and my daughter is still getting frustrated and I am still getting frustrated with her frustration The progress was quite slow and tedious. There was progress but not enough for her to feel good about it all.

Thanks to a recent Abraham CD, I was able to shift my point of view for this whole situation. I realized that I had been approaching the situation in all the wrong ways. Well, duh, all that struggling to get a little movement should have been a good indicator.

I was looking at her as the broken Jen, instead of the well Jen. In the midst of her getting upset about it all, again, I said to her, I KNOW your arm can do what it should be doing. I know you can get make it happen, and it doesn’t have to be all this hard work either. I told her that if she would look to her arm doing all the fun things that she likes doing instead of all the things she can’t do right now, things will change.

From Abraham-Hicks CD 2/3/08 – Los Angeles CA – CD 4 end of CD

This is just an example of the gap getting further apart. It’s just an example of somebody believing in the reality of what is more than the reality of what is in vibrational escrow. And it’s a good thing you don’t create your worlds from your physical disconnected place. It’s a wonderful thing that you are launching forward, forward, forward. That’s why we can speak so unequivocally about the eternal nature of that which we all are. That’s the power of influence.

That’s what true healing is. It’s KNOWING wellness with everything that you are because you’ve practiced it and you care how you feel so much.

And someone might say “Someone’s sick and it bothers me that you won’t commiserate with me.” And you have to say “Can’t do it. Not good for me, not good for you. THIS is what I KNOW. THIS is where I stay. THIS is what I know about this. THESE things I know. This is my KNOWING. This is my KNOWING. This is my KNOWING.” And when you have the good fortune to being up close to somebody who knows something so emphatically about you, THAT is the power of influence. That’s what healing is.

Almost Straight!

(For the full transcription of the quote and an audio to go with it, you can see my post, Abraham on Influencing Wellness in Those You Love.)

She and I had a in depth conversation about how what we focus on comes to be. I reminded her of my trip to see Abraham and how I KNEW I would get a chance to talk to them again. Not getting into the seat just wasn’t an option. It’s all about the focus. I suggested that she focus on her arm the way she wants it to be and know that it can be that way. We talked about shifting her feelings about the exercises from “these exercises SUCK” to appreciating them for helping her get her arm stronger and straighter. I knew she was hearing what I was suggesting. I helped her with the exercises and I could tell that her feeling surrounding them had changed a bit.

The last time we went to therapy, Jen reached 0 degrees, perfectly straight! That was about a 6 degree difference from the last time and a big jump over what the change usually is from visit to visit. On the way home, I asked her to tell me honestly if she had started doing more exercises for her arm or if it was about the same. ( I knew what the answer was but wanted her to see!). She hadn’t worked harder and the arm got much better. The only thing that changed was that she shifted her thinking a bit and her arm followed the lead!

I foresee her arm getting much better much quicker now. The next phase is to get her bending a bit more. Right now, we are consistently sitting at an 110 degree angle on bending. I think about 160 is what she is shooting for. Boy are we going to shock the therapist the next time we see her! I think Jen has seen that she *can* make a difference and it doesn’t have to happen by her doing the exercises all the time.