Working on Self

I’ve come to see things a bit different as of late. My EFT therapist said that I should be thankful for all the things that are coming up emotionally for me.

The people are showing me where I need to work on myself. If I didn’t have the vibration active in my being already, other people would not be able to “make me feel” a certain way.

A “step back” evaluation of my current emotional setpoint has me seeing that there are other things at play beyond the situation with my husband. My mom is very much back in the picture right now. She has a very dramatic situaiton going on and my husband and I are working with her to get her house sold and helping her move down here near where we are.

And I am voluntarily doing this. On the good days, I am totally okay with this. On the not so good days, it totally throws me for a loop. I have seen myself become an active participant in the drama, like times gone by. Those well worn ruts are still there and I jumped my track right back into them.

A strong current, at play in me, is in regards to people not listening to me and doing things for themselves that will help them to a better place. Things that they have said would help, and not just me being bossily telling them what to do. The frustration builds up in me because they know what they need to be doing but aren’t doing it and are complaining about it and I am right in there with them trying to fix the situation in order to make my experience better.

DOH!! Major lightbulb moment for me in regards to that revelation.

The frustration builds up in me because they know what they need to be doing but aren’t doing it and are complaining about it.

Let me rephrase that.

The frustration builds up in me because I know what I need to be doing but am not doing it and am complaining about it.

I can see that is a pretty valid comment on my part. I am making the conscious effort to get out of my husband’s and mom’s boats (That “one leg in each boat” thing is pretty harrowing! LOL) and decided to get back in my own boat.

I need to put my wants and needs back into my own hands. No one is responsible for my happiness and well-being but me. I have cut back on my work hours massively (gotta love terrific employees!) and now am able to do things for myself when I want to. For a short while there, I was thinking that I had to run out and find other people to interact with or new circumstances to interact with in order to make me feel better / happier / more content with my life.

I realize that isn’t so. In doing that, I am actually running from the only situation that really matters and will make an immediate difference in my experience. My relationship with myself. So right now, I am focusing on me and feeling better right now. Being present in the NOW and not rehashing how it has been in the past or prophesizing potential future outcomes. Right now, in this moment, I can see things as they are, perfect. This moment, this second, is exactly how it should be. It’s all good and I know, without an ounce of doubt, that it will all work out okay in the end.