Gone are the dark clouds that had me blind…

July 19th, 2008

June was hard. VERY hard. Despite the darkness of that month, I am thankful for that contrast. It has helped me reaffirm that everything really does turn out in the end. The how or when may not be blatantly obvious, but it WILL turn out okay. Sometimes, it is hard to keep that faith when you are in the middle of something that shakes you to your core .

My husband has been trying to find level for the past year and a half. We have had to endure countless, not helpful, medication changes. Some of the changes pushed him deeper into the abyss of his depression and ptsd. The medication change in June caused a crash that I was unsure he would survive. By the end of June, I wasn’t sure how I was going to cope much longer. My rose colored glasses lost their rosiness.

And then…

July came with a new med change. We have finally found a medication combination that has allowed the husband that I remembered to return. I am seeing him smile again. I am hearing him laugh. What music to my ears! You don’t realize how much you appreciate those small things until they are viciously ripped away. WE are “we” once again. I am SO thankful for level. I am a better person for having experienced this. I appreciate him exactly as he is. I am stronger for having experienced this.

It really does turn out just right, in time, if you allow it.