So Many Shifts

Okay, so it’s day 34 of the 45 day challenge. Wow, so much accomplished, in such a short time!

I can honestly say that I am so much more at peace now that I have worked with those thoughts in my head that told me I wasn’t worthy of having people accept me. While the outward appearances don’t show much, the internal change that I am feeling is overwhelmingly amazing.

I have used many different, very helpful, tools - EFT, paraliminals, and The Work process by Byron Katie. They all have helped me move to a place where I am SO much more at ease around people, and myself.

It is actually very funny how things have been flying at me in the last month. I have really wanted to have people around me. I wanted to be comfortable with that. I have scheduled many different things outside of my home and business and am actually really pleased (with very little anxiety) with the anticipation of going out!

I think that the internal mind shift, that I have made, has allowed people to flow into my life that I have previous blocked out.

On the 15th, Steve and I closed house for my mom to move into, which is near to us. That is monumental!! The story I told about my relationship with my mom was one of immense struggle and heart ache. I have let go of that story with much growing on my part. She doesn’t have to change in order for me to love her. Wow! What a revelation. She is planning on moving the 2nd week in September. LOL what a conclusion to the challenge here!

Within the past month, I have discovered that what I needed wasn’t other people accepting me, but rather, me accepting me. My ex-husband and I finally got all the paperwork filled out that is necessary for him to get an annulment so he can remarry his wife in the Catholic church. Through the whole process, I came face to face with the pandora’s box full of things that I had done in my past. Things that I hadn’t really faced or forgiven myself for. In filling out the paperwork, with a single sentance that was OH SO very black and white, describing a situation that was a multitude of grey shades, I realized that *I* was the one beating myself up over this and that HE was actually okay with it (some 13 years later). That self forgiveness is a powerful thing.

The saying, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life” is so very true. Those thoughts of what was and what might be, serve to stop you from living RIGHT NOW! I think I am so very ready to live in the NOW and very excited for how my life will unfold because of it.