Archive for the 'Boundless Living Challenge' Category

Okay, so it’s day 34 of the 45 day challenge. Wow, so much accomplished, in such a short time!

I can honestly say that I am so much more at peace now that I have worked with those thoughts in my head that told me I wasn’t worthy of having people accept me. While the outward appearances don’t show much, the internal change that I am feeling is overwhelmingly amazing.

I have used many different, very helpful, tools - EFT, paraliminals, and The Work process by Byron Katie. They all have helped me move to a place where I am SO much more at ease around people, and myself.

It is actually very funny how things have been flying at me in the last month. I have really wanted to have people around me. I wanted to be comfortable with that. I have scheduled many different things outside of my home and business and am actually really pleased (with very little anxiety) with the anticipation of going out!

I think that the internal mind shift, that I have made, has allowed people to flow into my life that I have previous blocked out.

On the 15th, Steve and I closed house for my mom to move into, which is near to us. That is monumental!! The story I told about my relationship with my mom was one of immense struggle and heart ache. I have let go of that story with much growing on my part. She doesn’t have to change in order for me to love her. Wow! What a revelation. She is planning on moving the 2nd week in September. LOL what a conclusion to the challenge here!

Within the past month, I have discovered that what I needed wasn’t other people accepting me, but rather, me accepting me. My ex-husband and I finally got all the paperwork filled out that is necessary for him to get an annulment so he can remarry his wife in the Catholic church. Through the whole process, I came face to face with the pandora’s box full of things that I had done in my past. Things that I hadn’t really faced or forgiven myself for. In filling out the paperwork, with a single sentance that was OH SO very black and white, describing a situation that was a multitude of grey shades, I realized that *I* was the one beating myself up over this and that HE was actually okay with it (some 13 years later). That self forgiveness is a powerful thing.

The saying, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life” is so very true. Those thoughts of what was and what might be, serve to stop you from living RIGHT NOW! I think I am so very ready to live in the NOW and very excited for how my life will unfold because of it.

So, I guess my “issue” has a title. Social Anxiety. LOL that pretty much sums it up. The more I consider being out in a social situation, the more anxious I get. LOL

This anxiety has really kept me from moving forward with my life. I had convinced myself that being a Happy Hermit was just fine, but I have reached a place in my life where I am not as happy with that choice as I was in the past.

The Boundless Living Challenge is giving me a platform to move forward with my life that I may not have done otherwise. I WANT to change, but didn’t have a real reason to. The Challenge came around in the perfect time. Ask and It Is Given - and this time, I actually allowed it to come in!

I have been working on myself using the following tools:

• Paraliminals from LearningStrategies.com
• Listening to Byron Katie, Eckhart Tolle and Abraham-Hicks
• Emotional Freedom Techniques (aka Tapping)
  from EFT-Downloads and with a Therapist covering, among other things,
  • - Procrastination
  • - Self Love
  • - Self Esteem
  • - Anxiety Relief
• Ultimate Confidence Hypnotherapy from Wendi.com
• Actually getting out there and DOing

I have been making small steps and have been getting visible results.

I think one of the things that has really helped me was a session with my EFT therapist, Martha Delafield.

I taped it and am sharing it here with you all, if you care to listen. She is a flow tapper. She talks and we tap the points over and over again. If you aren’t familiar with the tapping points, Rick Wilkes has a nice diagram that shows you where the points are. We do stop now and then to take a deep breath. Talk a little and then start tapping again. When you listen, it just sounds like a regular therapy session, but tapping is basically non stop for a little over an hour.

I have broken up the session into smaller chunks which run about 10 minutes a piece.

While these are my issues, I really believe that tapping along as you listen may help move blocks that you didn’t know you had. That is the amazing thing about borrowing benefits. You don’t have to dig deep in your own history in order to benefit from tapping.

The issues that are covered in this session are pretty common so you are bound to have some movement in your experience.

EFT Session - Part 1 - 7 minutes 20 sec

Part 1 has the following topics in it:

Uncomfortable having conversation in group situation.
“They don’t like me.”
“I’ll make a fool out of myself.”
“I’ll say something stupid.”
“They don’t want me”
“I’m not really welcome here.”
“I might offend someone.”
“I might be misunderstood.”
“Maybe not safe”
“Even though I have this fear that people don’t want me / don’t like me, I choose to feel welcome, anyway.”
Fear of exclusion or indifference.
“I’m not wanted enough.”
“I’m not important enough.”
“I’m not good enough.”

EFT Session - Part 2 - 9 minutes 35 sec

Part 2 has the following topics in it:

“Just waiting to be rejected.”
“Wanting a cue that I’m okay” (mom issue there LOL)
Nonacceptance
“Practice feeling welcome”
Eye contact issue
Perceptual Habits
“Afraid of rejection”
“Afraid of humiliation”
“Afraid of being shamed in some way”
“Fear of not being received well and getting cold shoulder.”
Intellectually knowing better but still having emotional UMPH
“Taking it personally”
Part of your healing is in the giving without any regard to how it’s received.
Why it’s not recieved well has nothing to do with you.

EFT Session - Part 3 - 10 minutes 18 sec

Part 3 has the following topics in it:

“Trying to gain something.”
“If I try hard enough, it will work”
Needing positive response.
Being acknowledged.
Feeling Validated.
Life is good but…
Limiting Self
Sheer force
Making it happen.
Dropping the struggle.
Faceless mas of rejection and indifference.
“Tried hard but got nothing in return.”

EFT Session - Part 4 - 8 minutes 39 sec

Part 4 has the following topics in it:
“Too painful”
“I don’t need anyone”
“I’m strong, I don’t need anybody.”
Seeing that it doesn’t need to be a one on one give and take.
Don’t limit yourself.
Experience receiving from all the conduits that the universe has, instead of expecting it from a single source.
“Need to” vs “want to” or “choosing to”
Want that full KNOWING again

EFT Session - Part 5 - 10 minutes 28 sec

Part 5 has the following topics in it:
“Where did the KNOWing feeling go?”
Wanting clarity.
Allowing greatness in.
The Universe says yes every time.
Aligned intention.
Acceptance is inevitable.
Feeling like I belong here.
Feeling like an intruder.
Projecting into future interactions.
Wanting it to be easy.

LOL the “Love you too sweetie” was directed to Jazzy, Martha’s dog.

EFT Session - Part 6 - 8 minutes 48 sec

Part 6 has the following topics in it:

Practical conversational tips.
Small Talk
Where are you from? What do you do?
Taking it personally.
It’s not all about me.
The wounded kid.
Recognizing the pain.

EFT Session - Part 7 - 6 minutes 27 sec

Part 7 has the following topics in it:

Going slowly, acknowledging the pain.
It’s not all or nothing.
I have infinite time to get this right.
Be gentle with the little kid self.
Getting a handle on things that have alluded me.
Harvesting gifts.

After this session, I saw some major shifts in my feelings and behaviors.

I have reached out to several people saying that we should get together some time. Nothing has been set up, and you know, if the attempts don’t pan out, I’m cool with that. No rejection feelings at all.

I have signed up to help out at my daughter’s school. She is in 6th grade and this is the first time that I have felt comfortable enough to do this. I actually did it without any “what ifs” or excuses.

I booked my tickets to Tampa and am looking forward to the trip instead of feeling apprehensive.

Yeah ME!

What a busy week! Good but busy.

Work, kids, family, and this wonderful life giving challenge.

Last night I went to see Andy Dooley speak. What a wonderful workshop it was!

It was definitely worth the comfort zone stretch.

He gave four principles to help you change your life forever.

1) Be aware of your thoughts and self talk.

We have a tendency to be not so kind to ourselves. We say all sorts of things about our actions and our abilities that we would never say to anyone else due to the crushing blow they would be delivering. BUT… we do it to ourselves all the time.

Be kind to yourself. Love yourself. Appreciate yourself for the wonderful person you truly are.

2) Let Go and Let It Happen

Quit being so danged serious. Life is supposed to be fun. It isn’t supposed to be an uphill battle.

This is a clip of the material done at a Toastmaster’s meeting.

3)If you can see it, If you can feel it, If you can believe it, You can achieve it.

Visualize, visualize, visualize - WITH feeling. Be there, RIGHT NOW, even if you don’t have the actual manifestation YET.

4) Everything you need to succeed, is already inside you!

Wow. Really wow. I guess that makes us super powerful huh?! Exciting and perhaps a little scary

I have actually done a video entry as well tonight, but for some reason, it isn’t loading up very quickly.

I think I will post this and be off to bed and try again with the video in the morning.

This is another video of Andy Dooley.

Considering my issues of looking the fool infront of people, I found this one oddly comforting LOL

Have a wonderful night / weekend!
Vickie

So… I decided it was time to get to the core of my issue . *gulp* I am scheduling an appointment with my therapist and am looking forward to some dramatic changes

Hi Martha,

I need to schedule a tapping session with you. It can be at either of your locations.

In order to get clear and to help you help me the quickest let me tell you what is going on.

I am actually taking part in a challenge online where you pick something you want to manifest in 45 days.

My challenge is below:

“My goal for this challenge is to start forming friendships with some people locally and go out and have a good time with them. I want friends, dang it, people who I can talk to when I need to talk and people I can hang out with and have a good time.

It’s time for me to open that avenue of my life. I KNOW I have huge things to come in my life. I am just not allowing it in. I can create fabulously on my own, but the things that I could co-create with others has to be beyond what I could imagine.

My fears associated with this goal are substantial. I am always a little envious of people have have the natural ability to be at ease in public situations. I have so many things I need to deal with in order to feel comfortable with this. Sometimes it is just easier to hang out in my house, with my family, or online.”

It is funny (sorta) because I have discovered a couple of things. Being authentic with people online is a snap. Going to events locally, where I know there will be at least one person I know, is easy (though still a little stress inducing). But going somewhere where I don’t know anyone is WAY stress inducing. I am going to the I Can Do It conference in Tampa in October and have been talking myself in and out of it since I signed up. The stress level about being there and not knowing anyone is way over the top. When I went to my Abraham conference, there were tons of people there but I didn’t talk to anyone. In the breaks, I went and sat by myself. I don’t want to do that anymore!!

The funny thing is, the idea of getting in front of a group of people and talking is not stress inducing to me at all. It’s the one on one, “what if they don’t like me, or what if I say something stupid” what ifs that are messing me up. I know they are related to my growing up, but I REALLY REALLY want to get over this issue.

It has been following me around for as long as I can remember. “It’s always safest by myself” seems to be a core vibe. When I went away to college, I spent the first 3 weeks dining by myself, studying by myself, and being by myself in my room. Luckily someone came and knocked on my door and said Come Out and hang with us. And then, it wasn’t an issue anymore.

Since you have worked with me so much in the past year or so, I know you are seeing things that I am not having the light bulb moment about. Hopefully this is the first step to opening a door that I have kept firmly shut for a very long time!

Thanks!
Vickie