Archive for the 'Relationships' Category

Tell everyone you know: “My happiness depends on me, so you’re off the hook.” And then demonstrate it. Be happy, no matter what they’re doing. Practice feeling good, no matter what. And before you know it, you will not give anyone else responsibility for the way you feel—and then, you’ll love them all. Because the only reason you don’t love them, is because you’re using them as your excuse to not feel good.

Excerpted from a workshop in Asheville, NC on Saturday, April 30th, 2005
Abraham-Hicks

Okay, so it’s day 34 of the 45 day challenge. Wow, so much accomplished, in such a short time!

I can honestly say that I am so much more at peace now that I have worked with those thoughts in my head that told me I wasn’t worthy of having people accept me. While the outward appearances don’t show much, the internal change that I am feeling is overwhelmingly amazing.

I have used many different, very helpful, tools – EFT, paraliminals, and The Work process by Byron Katie. They all have helped me move to a place where I am SO much more at ease around people, and myself.

It is actually very funny how things have been flying at me in the last month. I have really wanted to have people around me. I wanted to be comfortable with that. I have scheduled many different things outside of my home and business and am actually really pleased (with very little anxiety) with the anticipation of going out!

I think that the internal mind shift, that I have made, has allowed people to flow into my life that I have previous blocked out.

On the 15th, Steve and I closed house for my mom to move into, which is near to us. That is monumental!! The story I told about my relationship with my mom was one of immense struggle and heart ache. I have let go of that story with much growing on my part. She doesn’t have to change in order for me to love her. Wow! What a revelation. She is planning on moving the 2nd week in September. LOL what a conclusion to the challenge here!

Within the past month, I have discovered that what I needed wasn’t other people accepting me, but rather, me accepting me. My ex-husband and I finally got all the paperwork filled out that is necessary for him to get an annulment so he can remarry his wife in the Catholic church. Through the whole process, I came face to face with the pandora’s box full of things that I had done in my past. Things that I hadn’t really faced or forgiven myself for. In filling out the paperwork, with a single sentance that was OH SO very black and white, describing a situation that was a multitude of grey shades, I realized that *I* was the one beating myself up over this and that HE was actually okay with it (some 13 years later). That self forgiveness is a powerful thing.

The saying, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life” is so very true. Those thoughts of what was and what might be, serve to stop you from living RIGHT NOW! I think I am so very ready to live in the NOW and very excited for how my life will unfold because of it.

Today is my 12th Wedding Anniversary. It seems like yesterday that this wondrous ride started.

The story behind our romance was something straight out of a fairy tale. Little did I know, at the time, it was a case of law of attraction at it’s finest.

Back about 13 years or so ago, I met a friend, named Jen, in a chat room on CompuServe. She i is the one who actually started me this wondrous journey. She told me about the Celestine Prophesy (a wonderful book) and we discussed her spiritual theories at length. I was a doom and gloomish person at the time and, while I wanted to believe that there was something bigger and better out there, I didn’t see it happening in my life. In hindsight, I was just getting more of what I expected in life.

She helped me see that there was so much more in life than what I was living. I remember the day when I threw up my hands and said, to what ever powers that be, “I deserve to be happy! Lead me to where I need to be in order to be happy.” At that point, *I* became the person who counted. My needs, my desires, my wants were what mattered to me. My decisions, after that point, were solely based on the belief that we all deserve to be happy, especially me.

I decided it was time to end a unhappy marriage. Around that same time, I “met” Steve in that same chat room on Compuserve. He was the safe voice of reason, 3000 miles away, who listened to me during the times that followed my asking for a divorce. I stayed in the apartment with my ex-husband for a little over 2 months in order to try and not leave him in a major financial bind.

After I moved back home with my mom, the email relationship moved to a phone / email relationship. I had a very clear view of what type of love I was looking for. I knew what the relationship, when it appeared, would be like. I remember my mom saying that love like that didn’t exist. I’m glad I didn’t listen to her. I held fast to what I knew was out there.

At the end of December, Steve came over to visit for the first time. We were both nervous because we had really forged a bond over the miles between us, but the real test would be the in person meeting. The sparks where there in person as they were over the miles. That meeting officially started exciting roller coaster ride of our life together!

I went to England to visit in February.
In March, he came to the States.
In April, I went to England and he proposed! I said yes!
In May, my divorce was finalized.
In June, I moved to England.
In July, we were married and we had a baby on the way!
In less than a year, my life turned itself totally around.

Now, it is 12 years later.
2 Continents later.
3 Children later.
7 House Moves later.
1 New Home Later.
1 House Fire Later.
A growing business that went from one home, to another and then into leased space and then into bigger leased space later.
A Challenging Illness Later.

And I would not change a thing. I have looked over the letters I sent to Steve all that time ago. All the sentiments that I had in those letters still hold true today. I still believe he is my knight in shining armor. He has taught me so much about myself in this process we call life. I have grown and learned so much about myself and about life. I have become a better person for loving him.

I am so happy I made that leap of faith 12 years ago. If I had doubted my ability to do it, and stayed put in the familiar, I would never have had the opportunity to become the person I am today.

Here’s to many, many more years with you dear. I love you, and appreciate you more each year. I appreciate this journey we have gone on, together.

When I first signed up for this challenge, I wasn’t quite sure what my goal would be. We have a successful business. Financially, we are doing well. We have a wonderful home. My relationship is back on track and how I want it to be. My weight could use some work, but when I stopped and thought about it, I think that is a symptom of what I need to really work on.

I grew up in a home where no one was really there for me emotionally, I convinced myself that I really didn’t need anyone to get on in life. For the most part, that philosophy worked for me. I kept to myself with very few close friends. I thought this was good for me and I went on my merry way. I can interact well in business situations (we own our own online business). I can talk passionately about the focus of our business (fertility). I will talk computer geek with people until I am blue in the face and love every moment of it. Unfortunately, there aren’t a whole lot of people around here who “get” the whole internet thing.

When my husband got sick, about a year and a half ago, I realized how absolutely alone I really was. I really wanted to go out and make friends, but, truthfully, it makes me VERY uncomfortable striking up a conversation with people. I did pretty well when I started up a MeetUp group for the Law of Attraction and Abraham Hicks. That I LOVED talking about, but it turned into a situation where people seemed to be looking at me as a teacher. I was talking and they were listening. There wasn’t much in the way of getting to know people or forging friendships.

My goal for this challenge is to start forming friendships with some people locally and go out and have a good time with them. I want friends, dang it, people who I can talk to when I need to talk and people I can hang out with and have a good time.

It’s time for me to open that avenue of my life. I KNOW I have huge things to come in my life. I am just not allowing it in. I can create fabulously on my own, but the things that I could co-create with others has to be beyond what I could imagine.

My fears associated with this goal are substantial. I am always a little envious of people have have the natural ability to be at ease in public situations. I have so many things I need to deal with in order to feel comfortable with this. Sometimes it is just easier to hang out in my house, with my family, or online. I have the tools to help me (EFT for example) but I just don’t use them. I am not totally sure why. LOL anyone out there with EFT knowledge want to put together a script for not doing something you know would help?

I look forward to easing my fears and discomfort in dealing with this lifelong issue as well as watching you all achieve what you are looking to manifest!