Archive for the 'Byron Katie' Category

Okay, so it’s day 34 of the 45 day challenge. Wow, so much accomplished, in such a short time!

I can honestly say that I am so much more at peace now that I have worked with those thoughts in my head that told me I wasn’t worthy of having people accept me. While the outward appearances don’t show much, the internal change that I am feeling is overwhelmingly amazing.

I have used many different, very helpful, tools – EFT, paraliminals, and The Work process by Byron Katie. They all have helped me move to a place where I am SO much more at ease around people, and myself.

It is actually very funny how things have been flying at me in the last month. I have really wanted to have people around me. I wanted to be comfortable with that. I have scheduled many different things outside of my home and business and am actually really pleased (with very little anxiety) with the anticipation of going out!

I think that the internal mind shift, that I have made, has allowed people to flow into my life that I have previous blocked out.

On the 15th, Steve and I closed house for my mom to move into, which is near to us. That is monumental!! The story I told about my relationship with my mom was one of immense struggle and heart ache. I have let go of that story with much growing on my part. She doesn’t have to change in order for me to love her. Wow! What a revelation. She is planning on moving the 2nd week in September. LOL what a conclusion to the challenge here!

Within the past month, I have discovered that what I needed wasn’t other people accepting me, but rather, me accepting me. My ex-husband and I finally got all the paperwork filled out that is necessary for him to get an annulment so he can remarry his wife in the Catholic church. Through the whole process, I came face to face with the pandora’s box full of things that I had done in my past. Things that I hadn’t really faced or forgiven myself for. In filling out the paperwork, with a single sentance that was OH SO very black and white, describing a situation that was a multitude of grey shades, I realized that *I* was the one beating myself up over this and that HE was actually okay with it (some 13 years later). That self forgiveness is a powerful thing.

The saying, “Today is the first day of the rest of your life” is so very true. Those thoughts of what was and what might be, serve to stop you from living RIGHT NOW! I think I am so very ready to live in the NOW and very excited for how my life will unfold because of it.

I have been listening to a lot of Byron Katie (Katie to those who know her) as of late, due no Abraham CDs coming for some reason. (I will have to call and check up on that soon.)

The most recent one I have been listening to is Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life . I think this may have actually saved my sons from quite a bit of berating and yelling and screaming.

Around 1pm yesterday, I got a really angry phone call from my husband calling me home from work. It was an early release day from school and the boys, 5 1/2 and 7 1/2, apparently decided it was a good idea to play in the upstairs bathroom sink and flood the place out. I did the work on the issue as I drove.

“The boys shouldn’t have been playing in the water in the sink. They should have known better.”

Is that true? Can you know that it is absolutely true?

Well no, I guess not, but dang, I wish it was.

The reality of it is that they did and “It is What It Is”. That is the reality of the situation. My thoughts about it all can torment me or not. In this moment right now, I can think about it in a way that didn’t cause me stress. I prefer it that way.

In my wildest dreams, I could not have envisioned the scene of what was to meet me at home.

The bathroom, that the boys were in, was upstairs. The water had soaked through the floor and was dripping from the ceiling in the living room. There was water pouring out of every light fixture and the paint was bubbling up like small balloons on the ceiling. Holy crap! The water had traveled all the way across the living room and was pouring out of a seam and onto our large screen TV and our Wii. The total dollar amount of damage done is still to be determined. Wow.

I was oddly calm about all of this. We had a water damage company on site within the hour and had filed a claim with the insurance agency. We now have heavy duty heaters and fans running in the upstairs bathroom and in the living room. It is very much like being on a plane seated on a wing aisle. I thought we would have had problems sleeping, as the fans are under and right next to our bedroom, but it turns out that the fans work wonderfully as white noise generators.

I did have a little chuckle about all of this as I was out driving to take my dog her things at the kennel. We are currently in the process of having our kitchen redone. We have had to move everyone into the office / spare kitchen area. The very SMALL space. I have come to realize how large my personal space bubble really is! I had been complaining about how cramped we are and how I wanted the kitchen to be done (it will be absolutely gorgeous when it is done!). I have been griping about not enough space, on a very regular basis. Doesn’t surprise me, in hindsight, that something happened that makes even less space!!

It’s all about me. What is keeping me from being truly happy and in love with myself are my issues. MY Issues. Issues that I didn’t really realize where there. I have looked to others, outside of me, to make me feel good, and it just doesn’t work on a long term basis, nor is it fair on the people you are demanding it of.

In one of my recent posts, I received some very valuable feedback. Lauri supplied a wonderful quote from Abraham that really put my issues in perspective.

Don’t you find that interesting? That what you really want is a reason to vibrationally connect with who you really are.

And so, you ask so much of people because you say to them, “You need to be the one who causes me to feel good.” And what we want to say to all of you is:

If any of you are without the relationship of your dreams right now, that’s a wonderful thing. Because now you have an opportunity to work on the relationship that really matters first and foremost. And then, in that connection, the relationship of your dreams will come.

But you are going to discover the relationship of your dreams is really your own Inner Being. It’s that infusion of clarity and confidence and wellness, that’s what you are reaching for.

Abraham-Hicks – San Diego 2/7/04B

Jon shared his post about relationships that he made on the AbeList.

Both the quote and the post made me realize something that I hadn’t wanted to recognize in myself. The missing piece in this puzzle is love for myself, not love missing from other people. They are just reflecting back what I am putting out there vibrationally. Jon recommended to his friend that he do three Lists of Positive Aspects. One for his marriage, one for his wife and one for himself. I thought about those lists, for my situation, and found that I could do the first two quite easily, but when it came to do one for myself, I froze. Something in me wouldn’t allow myself to do this exercise for what I liked in myself. Wow. What a deep revelation. I have been pensively thinking this over for a couple of days. I have known I have had self worth issues for, hmmm, forever, I guess. It is those ingrained beliefs that were learned in childhood still hanging around.

I have been working on the, non beneficial, beliefs for a while, and still have a ways to go until I have them moved them all to better feeling beliefs. I have moved many of these beliefs, over the past years, which is why my life has been heading in such wonderful direction. It is just a matter of time until I get the other rogue beliefs dealt with.

I have been working on the issues using EFT, listening to Abraham, and other teachers, like Byron Katie and Wayne Dyer. I am trying to do The Work on these beliefs but feel the resistance well up in me each time. I listened to her cd set, Your Inner Awakening, and felt great resistance to a lot of what she was talking about. I stuck it out though. I moved from that work to Making Your Thoughts Work For You with Wayne Dyer and Bryon Katie. For some reason, this one really spoke to me and what Katie had to say on this CD set caused a light bulb to go on for me. I am feeling progress towards what I am looking for.

Reviewing her work on Amazon, I can see two more that are talking to me so they are in my cart waiting for me to checkout:

- Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life
- I Need Your Love – Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Instead

In addition to The Work, I have been perusing the EmoFree website to see what I can uncover that I can use.

I have come up with several articles there that address the beliefs instilled in childhood that may be of use to many people out there.

- “My Mother Didn’t Love Me”
- EFT and self image
- Using EFT for mother issues
- Soft language to ease The EFT Set-Up Phrases

While these articles are stepping stones to my issues, I know I need to find MY core issues that I am holding onto which are holding me back from what it is I want in life – my connection with the loving me.

What I would really like to do is take a day away and find a nice quiet place near a babbling brook where I can just sit and think. I feel that there is a MAJOR revelation that will change everything just on the horizon. I am not allowing myself, at this moment, to go and access that information. The time is coming, though, I can feel it and know source will show me the way if I allow it.