Archive for December, 2007

One of my “odd” stories about how EFT has helped me is with my nail biting and picking. After my first time watching the Borrowing Benefits DVDs, I noticed that my nails were growing! Might not sound like a big thing to many out there, but to me it was HUGE. I was a lifetime picker and chewer and had stopped with no conscious effort or knowledge that I had done so. I just noticed that I had nails. I have finally gotten to a point where I have file them down or use clippers on them. I would have never considered that even a remote possibility in the past.

In this week’s EFT Newsletter from Gary Craig, there was a seemingly unrelated, but related, article that confirmed my correlation of EFT’s effectiveness with nail issues. It is kind of funny though as the article wasn’t focusing on this issue but rather
Improving intimate moments with EFT.

Enjoy the read!

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You don’t need to be an expert to gain the benefits of EFT.

Gary Craig offers a free downloadable manual that gives you everything that you need in order to make a difference in your life!

If you want would like to see examples of how EFT is done, emofree.com also offers DVDs that you can purchase that are extremely worth the cost. (I own the full set.)

I have a situation that is finally coming, slowly, to an end. My ex-husband, from over a decade ago, is in the process of filing for an annulment of our marriage. This has been a long time in the process and I have emailed with Joel (my ex) about this many times over the details and life in general.

The situation surrounding the divorce isn’t something I am particularly proud of. I am an incredibly different person now as compared to then (amazing what a decade can do!) but I was awful to him when I left. I hurt him very badly and the guilt that cropped up, after he contacted me, was considerable. I had a hard time believing that I was ever that type of person. I can honestly say that I was pretty much as disconnected from source as I could have been at the time, though I didn’t realize that was the problem back then.

And a disconnected person is a person who is in pain in other words whether you call it anger or fear or guilt or loneliness or frustration, that disconnectedness, when it is that strong, is a very strong discomfort. And so as we acknowledge something like that happening, we acknowledge that that the perpetrator of the crime, so to speak, is disconnected and we acknowledge him as wanting to be connected.

Abraham G-9.27.92

In remembering how things happened, I feel a bit disconnected now as well. The process of the annulment is a bit tedious for him. He has to get 4 witnesses to testify in writing for him and then send off the paper work and then the church gets in touch with me about it all. The thought of his family having their say about me and what happened really threw me for a loop and I was in a super grump mood about it for a couple of days.

My poor 7 year old pretty much told me like it was last night when I was really grumping at him over not much of anything at all. He told me, no, he screamed at me with tears, “YOU NEED A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP!! YOU ARE TOO GRUMPY!” Ah, yes, I guess you have a point there dear. I did go to bed earlier than usual and woke up a bit better but still leaning to the grumpy side.

It was as if I had a grumpy blanket covering me. As I stood, drying my hair, I did was Abraham talks about, trying to move thoughts to a better feeling place. I talked to myself about how I am a different person now. I told myself that they only knew me back then so their view of me is the old me not the now me. I told myself that I did the best that I could at the time. I told myself a lot of things about the situation and in the middle of it, I *felt* the grumpy blanket lift off. I viscerally felt the movement of relief. It was a bit of a wow moment to fully *GET* what Abraham talks about.

There is still some time in the process left so I am sure I will feel the grumpy blanket again. I am going to try and move this whole thing to a better place right now.

What do I appreciate about it all?

I appreciate that I got to talk to Joel and had a chance to apologize.
I appreciate that I am getting the chance to make it as right as I can.
I appreciate that we both have moved to better places in our lives where we are experiencing much more happiness than we were able to back then.
I really appreciate that Joel is being as gracious as he is about the whole thing.
I appreciate the fact that we did have some good times.
I appreciate that we did have some pretty funny times too.
I appreciate that we both agree that we would have been better friends than partners.
I appreciate that his family loves him and is doing what they can to help him reach his goal.
I appreciate the fact that I am a better person for our experience together, past and present.
I appreciate the fact that if it weren’t for our contrast filled time together, I wouldn’t be living the life that I am living now.
I appreciate that what I am feeling now is launching better things into my future experience.
I appreciate that life is a journey and it is all good if you look at it the right way.

BIG Sigh. Okay, that feels so much better to me at the moment. That appreciation reach did bring me the relief that I was looking for. I will come back and re-read if I decide to make a big hairy deal out of it all in the near future.

I wasn’t sure how my trip to see my mother would turn out. I was sure I had major growth over the years and though that our interactions would be different this time but wasn’t totally sure that I wasn’t just fooling myself.

I spent a lot of reminiscing about my past as I drove from the airport to where my mom lives. I passed so many places that had significance to me. Even the radio stations were cooperating and playing music that fit the “remembering” I was doing. People and places, from where I used to live, all held so many memories. The memories that used to hurt, didn’t hold the same kick as they used to. Time, distance and growth all serve to mellow the feelings created by past events. That “up close and personal” look at things in the heat of the moment can cause so much resentment and bitterness, but when you pull back and view it from a wider, more detached, angle, you can see the good of it all.

I used to view my past through the eyes of a bitter victim for the most part. But this trip, that view was radically different. I could look back with a feeling of appreciation for everything that my past had helped me become. This was a bit unsettling due to the fact that I was waiting for the ghosts of the past to jump out and join me as they used to do in the past, but they didn’t. It was also very empowering, as it showed me that I was truly where I thought I was. “You’ve come a long way, baby!” came to mind.

Everything about this trip turned out so well. The flights went without a hitch. It was odd because I usually HATE flying but this time, there was no sign of the nervousness that previously bothered me so. The drive was smooth, even with the snow that started falling on my way to Pennsylvania. While there were some things that started irritating me, I was able to turn it around. Abraham’s phrase, “Are you a complainer or a praiser?”, played through my mind and I was able to redirect my thoughts to a better, more positive, place and my whole experience benefited from it.

My family was, well, my family. There was drama galore, but happily, I didn’t get involved. They all knew I was there and I loved them all, no matter what was going on. I didn’t talk with them to any extent about what was negatively going on in their lives. It was a good visit. It was kind of cool. I was able to talk about The Secret and about EFT with my mom and she was actually interested in what it was all about. Now I know what to get her for Christmas.

My trip, while very short, was a success. I left filled with appreciation for so many people and situations I have experienced in my life. I have chosen to look at my life with rose colored glasses and have discovered that I really like it that way.

I used to allow my past to play a major role in my life, or totally lock it away so I just didn’t have to deal with the issues at all. Locking away the things I didn’t want to deal with worked well for the most part, but it is nice to be able to see that the past doesn’t control me as it used to. I am stronger and more connected now. I can see the past for what it was and appreciate it now. The bad feelings have, for the most part, gone away.

As someone recently said to me, it’s nice to be able to gently close the door of the past, leaving it unlocked, instead of slamming and bolting it as was previously the case. And I couldn’t agree more.

This past year has been a tremendous learning and growing experience for me. I have grown in ways that I never thought possible. I am finding that I am more aware of the negative emotions and can, for the most part, turn myself around and find better feeling ground more quickly now and with much less drama. Thank Goodness!

Abraham is currently emphasizing that what ever you have going on in your experience (the manifestation) is just a temporary indicator of the vibration that you have going on. Even if the manifestation seems HUGE it is only temporary and if you can change your vibration, the manifestation will morph as well.

I have found that the phrases below help me to shift my feelings to a slightly better feeling place. And, it really is all you have to do in order to change the manifestation that you have going on.

Things Always Work Out For Me.

It took me a long time to finally get to this realization. No matter how bad things look in the moment, they really do always work out for me. The sooner that I realize that this is the case, the sooner I am able to get back on the right track. Beating the drum of the “how it is right now” only tends to bring more things into your experience that perpetuated how things are right now.

I Did That.

Oh, another one of those phrases that took me a long time to take full responsibility for. When the good stuff happened, it was great to be able to say that I had a part in making that happen, but when the “bad” stuff happened, THAT had to be someone else’s fault. I have come to realize that the “bad” stuff is also my full responsibility. I have taken a different stance with the stuff that appears that is less than desirable to me. The undesirable stuff is just a clue as to where I was unintentionally or intentionally, in many cases, focusing. That good ole pity party doesn’t get you to where you want to be.

Taking responsibility for everything that happens in my life was a real empowering journey for me. I spent a good part of my life playing the victim card but now I am in charge of my life. *I* am the creator of my experience not some outside force. It really does feel good to have that power.

It’s All Good.

I have come to the realization that no matter what happens in my experience, I can choose to look at it in a positive or a negative way. Now, most of the time, I will try to lean in a more positive direction. When I do, I find that the situation resolves itself much quicker than if I focus on the negative aspects of what is going on. Over the years, I have come to realize that in experiencing some pretty heavy negative contrast, I do come out okay and that I have a much clearer view of what I do want in life. Once I have that clearer view, I know what to now focus on in order to get an improved situation. So, you see, it is really all good. In the midst of negative contrast, it might not appear that way, but given time and some space away from it all, you can find the good aspects in any situation.

It’s Not A Big Deal.

In knowing that everything works our for me and that it is all good, “it’s not a big deal” is easier and easier to say and mean. It helps relieve a bit of the stress that can creep up and sabotage even you best intentions at staying positive under pressure. I frequently modify this phrase into “What’s the big hairy deal?”, a phrase that Abraham is fond of these days. This morphing is accompanied by an image of a Oscar the Grouch and Elmo and with that image, it is more difficult to stay in the grouchy “this stinks” stance for too long.

Are You A Complainer Or A Praiser?

The first time I heard this phrase was during the Abraham-Hicks workshop I attended in October 2007. It is the first time I have heard it and it really struck a chord with me. It is so easy to get caught up in the momentum of thoughts and words but this phrase forces you to take a pause and acknowledge the direction you are going in. Ultimately, you don’t want to be a complainer due to the fact that as you focus on the aspects that you are complaining about, you are doomed to attract more of the same into your experience. If you can change your focus onto something that you can praise or appreciate, you have created a much better future for yourself. I would rather have the better future sooner rather than later. I have spent way too much of my life being dramatic about how things appear in my reality.

I Am Blessed

I have so much to be appreciative in my life. Things always do work out well for me and I have a wonderful family and life. Occasionally I get caught up in the nitty gritty of life and fail to see the bigger picture of how good my life really is. “I am blessed” helps me zoom out to see the bigger, and most often, more accurate big picture of my experience here. I am blessed and love every minute of my life, most of the time .

All of these are just tools to help me come into alignment with who I really am and what I want from this life. The phrases work well for me but I am always on the look out for other phrases that can help me come back into alignment.

What phrases work for you?

Life is supposed to be fun — it is supposed to feel good! You are powerful creators, and you are right on schedule. . . .

Savor more; fix less. Laugh more; cry less. Anticipate positively more; anticipate negatively less. . . . .

Nothing is more important than that you feel good - just practice that and watch what happens.

Abraham-Hicks Perpetual Flip Calendar - December 10th.