Archive for July, 2008

Okay, so I have seen this particular quote twice in two days. The first time, I sort of skimmed it. The second time, it hit home. It’s the “I’m not worthy” syndrome that it is refuting. I LOVE the fact that it is telling me to stop being small

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Marianne Williamson – A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”

Rather Than Complaining, I’ll Focus On Positive Aspects. . .

When you focus upon lack in an attitude of complaining, you establish a vibrational point of attraction that then gives you access only to more thoughts of complaint. Your deliberate effort to tell a new story will establish a new pattern of thought, providing you with a new point of attraction from your present, about your past, and into your future. The simple effort of looking for positive aspects will set a new vibrational tone that will begin the immediate attraction of thoughts, people, circumstances, and things that are pleasing to you.

From Abraham-Hicks, soon to be released book, Money and the Law of Attraction… Learning to Attract Wealth, Health and Happiness

Today is my 12th Wedding Anniversary. It seems like yesterday that this wondrous ride started.

The story behind our romance was something straight out of a fairy tale. Little did I know, at the time, it was a case of law of attraction at it’s finest.

Back about 13 years or so ago, I met a friend, named Jen, in a chat room on CompuServe. She i is the one who actually started me this wondrous journey. She told me about the Celestine Prophesy (a wonderful book) and we discussed her spiritual theories at length. I was a doom and gloomish person at the time and, while I wanted to believe that there was something bigger and better out there, I didn’t see it happening in my life. In hindsight, I was just getting more of what I expected in life.

She helped me see that there was so much more in life than what I was living. I remember the day when I threw up my hands and said, to what ever powers that be, “I deserve to be happy! Lead me to where I need to be in order to be happy.” At that point, *I* became the person who counted. My needs, my desires, my wants were what mattered to me. My decisions, after that point, were solely based on the belief that we all deserve to be happy, especially me.

I decided it was time to end a unhappy marriage. Around that same time, I “met” Steve in that same chat room on Compuserve. He was the safe voice of reason, 3000 miles away, who listened to me during the times that followed my asking for a divorce. I stayed in the apartment with my ex-husband for a little over 2 months in order to try and not leave him in a major financial bind.

After I moved back home with my mom, the email relationship moved to a phone / email relationship. I had a very clear view of what type of love I was looking for. I knew what the relationship, when it appeared, would be like. I remember my mom saying that love like that didn’t exist. I’m glad I didn’t listen to her. I held fast to what I knew was out there.

At the end of December, Steve came over to visit for the first time. We were both nervous because we had really forged a bond over the miles between us, but the real test would be the in person meeting. The sparks where there in person as they were over the miles. That meeting officially started exciting roller coaster ride of our life together!

I went to England to visit in February.
In March, he came to the States.
In April, I went to England and he proposed! I said yes!
In May, my divorce was finalized.
In June, I moved to England.
In July, we were married and we had a baby on the way!
In less than a year, my life turned itself totally around.

Now, it is 12 years later.
2 Continents later.
3 Children later.
7 House Moves later.
1 New Home Later.
1 House Fire Later.
A growing business that went from one home, to another and then into leased space and then into bigger leased space later.
A Challenging Illness Later.

And I would not change a thing. I have looked over the letters I sent to Steve all that time ago. All the sentiments that I had in those letters still hold true today. I still believe he is my knight in shining armor. He has taught me so much about myself in this process we call life. I have grown and learned so much about myself and about life. I have become a better person for loving him.

I am so happy I made that leap of faith 12 years ago. If I had doubted my ability to do it, and stayed put in the familiar, I would never have had the opportunity to become the person I am today.

Here’s to many, many more years with you dear. I love you, and appreciate you more each year. I appreciate this journey we have gone on, together.

So, I was over on Boundless Living and saw a video by Bob Doyle which showed some really core issues many of us have. The situations change from person to person, but the core feelings seem eeriely similar. For me, it actually was comforting to realize that I am not the only person out there who has these types of thoughts and feelings.

Bob is trying to figure out how he is going to perform his music in front of a crowd, and it is, at the moment, causing some discord.

I did, indeed, go and do some EFT on my issues, and I can’t speak highly enough of Kathy Atkinson EFT Scripts. She does a fabulous job of walking through the tapping and affirmations as well as offering coaching tips to help you succeed.

The two scripts that I used today were from the Self-Esteem program:

The Activating Confidence script really hit at some core issues that I have. Before she started the tapping on the issue, she wants you to say your intention outloud:

State out loud something like “I intend to feel confident and self-assured about who I am and what I have to offer. I accept all of my gifts, talents, and abilities and feel eager to express them to the world.”

Oh my gosh, that is SO what I am wanting. I’m there!

She goes through two rounds of tapping on the issues. Some of the things she taps to are:

I accept that I have the right to feel confident and self-assured about who I am, no matter what anyone else thinks.

Even though in the past, I have not always felt confident and self-assured, that was then, this is now, and I am ready now to own my power and confidence, and move forward with ease.

Even though it has been easy to play small and insignificant, and ignore my power and strength, I am no longer willing to do that and I release that pattern of behavior today.

Those issues are MY issues. I have never claimed what was mine in me. The time is now to do that… I think Evidently, I have more tapping to do, and will do it willingly.

The other script that I tapped to was Feeling Worthy and Deserving. These issues are, err were, some major points of the story I kept telling myself. It was hard to tap through some of the things that were coming up as I tapped to her words. I know I have a bit more work to do on a couple of aspects.

Some highlights of this script are:

Even though others have led me to believe that I am not worthy and deserving, that is not true.

Even though it is hard to release these feelings, because others have led me to believe I am not worthy, I am finding it easier and easier to release this untruth.

I am ready to shift this belief about my unworthiness and own the truth that everyone is worthy and deserving, including me.

It took me about an hour to get through both scripts and I plan on doing them again tonight, and every day, until my feelings of worthiness and confidence the resistance is gone.

It should be interesting to see how my body reacts to this. Last time I did some heavy duty tapping on core issues, I was a raving bitch the next day :lol . I don’t know why. And it did go away. Maybe it was my dramas doing a final dramatic farewell before they evaporated away into nothingness.